Warning: Parental Supervision Advised
Happy Birthday (40th)
It’s true. I’ve been accused of being a little DAZED AND CONFUSED, but if I am not mistaken, tonight is a BIG NIGHT for you! AFTER THE SUNSET but BEFORE SUNRISE, right at the 25th HOUR, my BABE is coming to the END OF DAYS as a 30 year old. It’s not FRIDAY the 13th or even a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET but it’s a day you have feared. However, you need to stop and ANALIZE THIS. I know you CHOKE when you think of turning 40 and that it leaves a BAD TASTE in your mouth, but it’s not that BIG of a deal. I promise you a BETTER TOMORROW.
You are 40 and its going to be 2012. So what? You are my AMERICAN BEAUTY and life is still a FIELD OF DREAMS. Whether you are in CHICAGO or AUSTRALIA, you still have a BEAUTIFUL MIND, a KICK-ASS body and weigh 7-POUNDS less now than you did at 30. How many women can say that? Look, you might want to KILL ME LATER or shoot me full of HOLES as I run INTO THE WILD, but I think that 40 for you will be BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE.
Think of it this way; you are ALMOST FAMOUS, part of THE A-TEAM, a true A-lister. You have THE TOUCH, THE CUTTING EDGE, that BASIC INSTINCT of a real TOP-GUN. Even at 40, you still fit in the same black COCKTAIL dress you wore 20 years ago. And when you walk through the AIRPORT you still turn heads and men keep FALLING DOWN. Okay, I better shut up now before I get in BIG-TROUBLE and find myself in A FINE MESS. I don’t want to become the BLACK SHEEP, or even worse, wake up in the EVER AFTER.
Shanna, my love, since there are no CLOCKSTOPPERS and you cannot ZOOM back in time, my advice to you is this……Go to the BEACH and play with the DOLPHINS, eat a few pieces of your favorite CANDY, write in your NOTEBOOK, maybe read a couple of NANCY DREW books, then come back DOWN TO EARTH. Then, when you are COMING HOME, call me from the PHONE BOOTH that’s 8-MILES away. I will have the WATCHMEN wait for you and I will be looking for you with my EAGLE EYE. When you arrive, I will read you BEDTIME STORIES and feed you BANANAS (with Nutela of course.) I will be your CASANOVA, your BRAVEHEART, and your ALPH-DOG. I will take you ACROSS THE UNIVERSE in my AIRPLANE and not once will you ask, “ARE WE THERE YET?” It will be a true PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE experience.
Mi amor, don’t act like the other CONEHEADS! It’s time to be FEARLESS. You have it in you, so be a DAREDEVIL. CRANK things up a notch! Learn to live FAST AND FURIOUS. Try on those 27 DRESSES that you like in Nordstrom’s. You aren’t going to live to be 300 and you aren’t going to be 17 AGAIN, so CRASH tonight. Get some BIG SLEEP. Dream like you were 13 GOING ON 30, because tomorrow you are TAKEN. That’s right, tomorrow you are mine. We can go out AFTER HOURS, maybe call your old friends from FAME, and can go out DIRTY DANCING. Or maybe grab some grub at the ROADHOUSE. It will be like our 50 FIRST DATES. Shanna being 40 is BOUND to be a good thing. It’s like having a SECOND CHANCE. As far as I am concerned, you could be UNSTOPPABLE. Just put your MEGAMIND to it and there wouldn’t be a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE for you. It wouldn’t matter if you were FACING THE GIANTS or found yourself on the ADVENTURES OF TIN TIN, you have the PASSION, the SPIRIT, and DEDICATION to live a LIMITLESS life. Shanna Michelle Ferguson, you were BOURNE for such a time as this! Enjoy your life to the Fullest.
AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I proudly introduce you to my 40-Year Old PRINCESS.
